Nursing our Depression

I was thinking the other day about how, as a mom, I don't often sweat "the little things" in life. Parking tickets, traffic, rude waitresses: they used to bother me, but now they're just blips in the soundtrack of my busy new life. While part of me thinks I'm simply too tired to care, another part insists it's a chemical change, something more deeply embedded in my new maternal makeup.

Well, according to a recent study published in the International Breastfeeding Journal, I might actually be onto something. The longitudinal study reveals that breastfeeding "protects mothers from stress" and shields "maternal mood." It indicates that woman who breastfeed are more likely to experience "fewer negative life events." [Important side note: said study also suggests that babies who nurse are also less likely to experience the impacts of maternal depression.]

As a proud nursing mom -- proud because we had serious breastfeeding problems, Bump and I, in the beginning that almost led to me giving up early on -- I naturally find this study encouraging. And if I do decide to have another baby, it will undoubtedly be on my mind as I try once again to establish a nursing relationship with my baby.


What bothers me about this study, though, is how its publicity will affect moms who simply can't afford to breastfeed. I'm not speaking figuratively: most new moms must return to work soon after their babies are born. And of those, only a small percentage are lucky enough to work in a lactation-friendly environment where women can express milk at ease and in privacy every few hours to keep up their supply. The research is all there: the U.S. lags behind most other industrialized nations in the value it places on lactation during the first few postpartum months.

I'm wondering, as I write this, if the study controls for class and socio-economic variation. Working, low-income, and/or single mothers are all, by necessity, far less likely to breastfeed: are they experiencing more "negative life events" because they're not expressing milk or because their lives are simply more stressful, baby or no baby?

But here's my main point: while this new study certainly emboldens those of us who can afford to nurse, it subtly damns those who by necessity can't. The last thing a working mother of two wants to hear is that her "decision" not to nurse may negatively impact both her life and the life of her baby. If she weren't depressed already, she might certainly be after reading this study or one of its many incarnations in the pro-breastfeeding campaign that pervades the culture of parenting today. I can hear one of the taglines already: "Bottle is Good, but Breast is Best for Stress."

First Word!

See this post on my other blog for details!

blah

You can always tell when I have to write an essay: I blog more. Which is to say, I procrastinate by "blogging" instead of writing. Funny how that works.

I met with a woman today on campus who is leading the life I'm soon to enjoy: an Assistant Professor with a baby at home. It was cool of her to meet with me -- I can't imagine how busy she is -- because I'm seriously stressed out about my new job (and it doesn't start until September!). I had this idea that she could share her secret with me: you know, how she manages to be both a mom and a professor. Of course, said secret doesn't actually exist. In fact, she prefaced lunch by suggesting she tell me what NOT to do. And as it happens the things I shouldn't do are the things I do all the time.

Take right now, for instance. Aidan went down at 8PM. It's already 10PM and I haven't even so much as picked up the essay I'm working on.

I'll let you in on something: one of the many perks of early motherhood is that you always have an excuse for getting nothing done. I have every right to be home all day with the bed unmade, dishes piling up, hair a complete disaster and nobody would bat an eye. No folks: she's not mentally unstable; she's a mother! My excuse for getting absolutely nothing done? A twenty-pound rug-rat I call Bump.

As for tonight: I'm simply too tired to exercise my intellect! Aidan's cutting teeth, in the middle of a developmental hurdle, and getting more mobile by the nanosecond. This means that during the day I'm on my toes each second he's awake. (And thanks to mother nature, Aidan's just about to ditch that morning nap).

So, I could log-off and pick up that essay -- the one throwing me a guilt trip from the corner of my desk -- but why should I? We mums need a break every now and then!

Listening Mothers

Hey Vern: I just fixed the comments problem, so hopefully we're back on track. To follow up on our recent exchange about childless friends and the chasm separating "us" from "them," I have to say one thing that has helped is taking the initiative to seek out fellow new mums. So, in a move completely uncharactersitic of me, I joined a mothers' support group called Listening Mothers. We meet once a week. There's usually some formal topic -- secure attachment issues; falling in/out of love with your baby; asking for help etc. -- but each week finds us expressing our joys and frustrations with each other. I never thought I'd be into this sort of thing, but here I am blogging about it!

Here's to finding a supportive support group in Bellingham!